3 minute read
Alex is an engineer at NPL. They joined NPL nearly 13 years ago and have had the opportunity to work with a range of internal and external stakeholders on a diverse range of projects. About four years ago Alex started to notice physical and cognitive changes that they now recognise was the perimenopause. They have experienced symptoms which have impacted their overall wellbeing some of which include, brain fog, difficulties with information recall, joint pains and hot flushes.
Although Alex is currently managing symptoms, there have been times when they have been significantly affected both inside and outside of work. As Alex works mostly with men, they haven’t felt comfortable sharing information about what they are experiencing. Alex felt they needed to hide as much as possible and just try to get through it. Two years ago a new special interest group allowed Alex to join a community of people with similar experiences and history of managing perimenopause and menopausal symptoms, which has provided them with much needed support.
“It's difficult to put into words how going through menopause (and perimenopause) can make you feel. While everyone’s experience of it is different, it snuck up on me and I tried to ignore and push through, but things that I could do easily before became harder and I had no idea why. I lost confidence in my abilities, I went from perceiving myself as a high performer to constantly forgetting things, struggling with clarity of thought and suffering with lack of sleep. I developed a lot of anxiety about how people might be reacting to that, I was embarrassed and felt like I was completely alone in my struggle to get on top of this.
There are quite a few barriers, a big one is the challenges with navigating getting medical support. In the early days of things starting to change, I was misdiagnosed with depression, so didn’t get the treatment I needed straight away and even afterward the lack of medical support was difficult to navigate. There can also be a big impact on your mental health, and on reflection, it was probably the stress of not understanding what was happening that influenced that diagnosis. It is a hard process to understand and then admit to yourself what is happening and all I really wanted was a plan of action to help me.
I think the stigma surrounding menopause is a huge barrier for everyone, many people really don’t understand the range and severity of symptoms. For me I was embarrassed to have something so personal having an impact that others could see, both at home and at work. Despite it being something that touches all people in some way, it still very much feels like a taboo topic. When I did try to talk about it to get support at work the experience was uncomfortable for everyone involved. My manager became very awkward almost immediately, I became embarrassed and that shut a lot of the conversation down. We focused almost exclusively on what physical support I needed, and not the cognitive impact or how that was affecting me at work. This is not to say all line managers are the same, others in the group have had great support from line managers.
It was about that time that the Menopause Matters Forum was created at NPL. This group connected me with people I hadn’t met who were experiencing both similar and different things to me. I was apprehensive about joining but so glad that I did! I learnt that while I was struggling with what feels like constant brain fog, others were struggling with the emotional and physical aspects, noticing they were angrier or more impatient than usual, or experienced muscle aches and hot flushes. Having the forum had a powerful impact on me, just being able to share what was happening and have those feelings validated by others made me feel like this was real and I wasn’t going mad. I’m proud that we have this forum at NPL.
Going through menopause somewhere like NPL can be intimidating. A lot of the time you are surrounded by very clever individuals. It’s indescribable how incapable you can feel sometimes when you can’t recall information or remember an action in a meeting, but it does often feel worse in an environment with so many intellectual people. It’s incredibly frustrating knowing that you know your stuff but can’t recall it in front of an audience, sometimes you can sense how stupid or incompetent they think you are.
The forum was a big step forward, if it didn’t exist I would feel lost. I think once more people understand the opportunity it offers, it will grow in strength and numbers. I also think there is more to do at NPL to raise awareness and provide resources to individuals and managers to provide better practical support. We have already had interesting conversations about what this might look like and how we might repurpose tools and techniques from other parts of the diversity and inclusion portfolio.
I think I would have different advice for different people:
For those going through it right now, be open in conversations with colleagues with lived experience, tap into their knowledge and use the peer-to-peer support they offer.
For those who may not yet have symptoms, only suspicions or are interested, reach out to communities like our forum. Having a place where you can listen to people who are further ahead, share their experiences or help you understand pros and cons of different approaches is invaluable.
For everyone else, menopause doesn’t just impact the individual, many of us would recognise the impact it has on our families, friends and colleagues. Having a bit more knowledge can help you to better understand, empathise with and support those around you, whether at work or more broadly."
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